In a domestic discipline (DD) relationship, which is a consensual dynamic where one partner (usually the submissive) agrees to follow certain rules set by the dominant partner, there are traditional rules that are often established to maintain structure, respect, and the power dynamic within the relationship. These rules can vary widely based on the preferences and needs of the individuals involved, but here are some commonly seen guidelines:
1. Respect and Obedience:
- Addressing the Dominant: The submissive may be required to address the dominant with a specific title like “Sir,” “Ma’am,” or another preferred term, as a sign of respect.
- Following Orders: The submissive is expected to follow the dominant’s instructions promptly and without question, unless those instructions violate agreed-upon boundaries or safe words.
- Seeking Permission: The submissive may need to ask for permission to do certain things, such as making significant purchases, going out with friends, or engaging in activities that are not part of the daily routine.
2. Behavioral Expectations:
- Politeness and Courtesy: The submissive is often expected to be polite and courteous in their interactions, both with the dominant and with others.
- Maintaining a Positive Attitude: The submissive may be required to maintain a positive attitude, avoiding negative behaviors like complaining, arguing, or sulking.
- Physical Presentation: The dominant may set rules regarding how the submissive should dress, groom themselves, or present their appearance, especially when at home or in the presence of the dominant.
3. Household Responsibilities:
- Chores and Duties: The submissive may be assigned specific household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, or other domestic tasks. The dominant often sets expectations for how and when these tasks should be completed.
- Meal Preparation: In some DD relationships, the submissive is responsible for preparing meals according to the dominant’s preferences and ensuring they are ready at specified times.
- Home Environment: The submissive might be responsible for maintaining a clean and orderly home environment, ensuring that everything is in its proper place.
4. Accountability and Discipline:
- Daily Check-ins: The submissive may be required to check in with the dominant regularly throughout the day, reporting on their progress with tasks, behavior, or adherence to rules.
- Punishments for Infractions: If the submissive fails to meet the rules or expectations, they may face consequences such as spanking, time-outs, loss of privileges, or other forms of discipline that have been consensually agreed upon.
- Journaling: The submissive may be asked to keep a journal where they reflect on their behavior, feelings, and any infractions, which can be reviewed by the dominant.
5. Personal Care and Well-being:
- Health and Fitness: The dominant might set rules for the submissive regarding diet, exercise, and self-care, ensuring that they maintain their health and well-being.
- Sleep Schedule: The submissive may have a set bedtime and wake-up time, ensuring they get adequate rest and maintain a structured routine.
- Mental Health: The dominant may require the submissive to engage in activities that support their mental well-being, such as meditation, therapy, or journaling.
6. Communication Rules:
- Open Communication: The submissive is often encouraged to communicate openly with the dominant about their feelings, needs, and concerns. This ensures that the dynamic remains healthy and consensual.
- Daily Reports: In some DD relationships, the submissive might provide daily or weekly reports to the dominant, detailing their behavior, thoughts, and any challenges they encountered.
7. Boundaries and Limits:
- Safe Words: Both partners agree on safe words that the submissive can use if they need to stop or pause any activity, ensuring that all interactions remain consensual and within comfort levels.
- Respecting Limits: The dominant respects the submissive’s hard and soft limits, which are boundaries that should not be crossed. This includes understanding the submissive’s physical and emotional capacities.
8. Intimacy and Affection:
- Affectionate Gestures: The submissive may have rules about showing affection, such as greeting the dominant with a kiss, maintaining physical closeness, or offering compliments.
- Sexual Expectations: The dominant may set guidelines around sexual activities, which should always be discussed and agreed upon by both parties to ensure mutual consent and enjoyment.
Important Considerations:
- Consent: All rules in a domestic discipline relationship must be consensually agreed upon by both parties. Consent is ongoing and can be renegotiated at any time.
- Communication: Regular communication is vital to ensure that both partners’ needs are being met and that the relationship remains healthy and positive.
- Flexibility: While structure is important, flexibility is also key. Life circumstances change, and rules should be adaptable to the needs of both partners.
Domestic discipline relationships are highly individualized, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It’s essential to create a dynamic that feels right for both partners, with a focus on mutual respect, care, and understanding.
Here is a list of some example rules
Respect
- The submissive will respect the HOH at all times.
- Submissive will not argue with the HOH.
- Submissive will not talk badly about the HOH.
- Submissive will say “please” and “thank you” for everything the HOH does.
- Submissive will not involve herself with the HOH’s job.
- Submissive will be honest to HOH at all times.
- Submissive will not keep secrets from the HOH.
- Submissive will treat HOH as a superior.
- Submissive will not speak unless spoken to.
Household Responsibilities
- The submissive will be responsible for the household chores.
- Submissive will make the beds daily.
- Submissive will vacuum daily.
- Submissive will wash dishes daily.
- Submissive will have the house clean before HOH returns from work.
- Submissive will make sure the laundry is done from start to finish.
- Submissive will make sure dinner is either on the table or in the process of cooking when the HOH returns from work.
- Submissive will serve the HOH at his request.
Free Time
- The submissive may do approved activities during her free time.
- Submissive may read approved materials.
- Submissive may do crafts.
- Submissive may request to watch an approved movie.
- Submissive may go for walks, with the permission of the HOH.
- Submissive may go to the gym, with the permission of the HOH.
- Submissive may play approved games on her phone or computer.
Grooming
- The submissive will be clean and kept at all times.
- Submissive may be required to have hair and makeup done daily.
- Submissive will be smoothly shaved at all times.
- Submissive may be required to wear clothes that are not “lounge” clothes during the day.
- Submissive will keep teeth clean and hair brushed.
- Submissive will submit to requested inspections by the HOH.
Sex
- The submissive will keep the HOH satisfied.
- Submissive will submit to any sexual request from the HOH.
- Submissive will not threaten to withhold sex from the HOH.
Questions and Concerns
- Submissive will address any questions, concerns, and opinions with the HOH at appropriate times.
- Submissive will remain calm and not instigate a fight with the HOH.
- Submissive will be patient.
- Submissive will accept the response of the HOH without question.
Requesting Permission
- Submissive will request permission from the HOH.
- Submissive will use “Please” and “Thank You”.
- Submissive will request permission to leave the house without the HOH present.
- Submissive will request permission to make any purchases other than groceries and hygiene products.
- Submissive will request permission before talking to any male that the HOH does not know.
- Submissive will accept the HOH’s answer without question.
Inspections
- Submissive will submit to any inspections requested by HOH.
- Submissive will submit to body inspections to ensure proper smoothness.
- Submissive will submit phone, computer, tablet, or any electronic device for the HOH’s inspection upon request.
- Submissive will submit to any inspection for household cleanliness performed by the HOH.