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Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Expectations

Setting The Expectations of Boot Camp

Now that you've learned what boot camp is, what it entails, why it is done, and what is required to get started, it's time to begin preparing for the boot camp experience.

In order to prepare for boot camp, a couple needs to define a set of rules. Most likely, you already have a set of household rules and expectations in place if you practice Domestic Discipline. Boot camp should still include all of those, but they should all be enforced more strictly. The goal of boot camp is actually to enforce the rules you already have in your marriage rather than to add new ones. As the couple prepares for boot camp, they may want to add new rules to their marriage. If the couple feels there are any new rules that need to be added within their home and marriage, now would be a great time to add them.

While boot camp is a great experience, it's recommended that everyone implements certain rules throughout the experience. Below I will list the recommended mandatory rules and explain each one. On the next page you will have an opportunity to create a printable rules list.

Boot camp is entirely under the control of the husband. His decisions, wants, and decisions are binding. It's that simple. During boot camp, no negotiation is allowed. Every decision pertaining to a marriage must be made by the husband. He must always be respected and listened to by his wife. The husband should immediately punish the wife if she uses any form of negotiation tactic, or shows any sort of hesitation, or answers with a "no" at any time or any other form of defiance. It is because of this that boot camp is so challenging. It should be clear immediately if the "no tolerance" rule is broken or questioned that there are consequences.

Act rudely, condescendingly, manipulatively, forcefully, or ignorantly towards one another in any way, shape, or form. It is still a Domestic Discipline partnership, so each spouse should always be nurturing, caring, and understanding of the other, even in boot camp. Wives often resist punishment, which can be very frustrating for husbands, but it's important that the husband still enforces the rules and carries out punishment in a loving and mature manner. The use of yelling, belittling, or forceful actions should not be tolerated at any time. In a Domestic Discipline marriage or partnership, such behavior has no place.

We should be aware of and expect rule number three after learning the first two rules. The key is to be respectful of the directions and requests and to follow them without defiance. During boot camp, even after punishment sessions, there should be no complaining, whining, backtalking, or other defiance. Spanking hurts, and both parties are aware of that, so there is no point in complaining. Learning to take responsibility for your actions is an important part of boot camp. Wives, in general, know when they've made a mistake and must take responsibility, so whining or back-talking about it should not be a part of the punishment process. Even though spankings in boot camp are more of a learning experience and don't necessarily have a mistake associated with them, the idea is for this particular rule to continue into everyday life after boot camp. In the event this rule is broken at any point during boot camp, a punishment should be imposed immediately. There should be no exceptions. Negotiations, delaying, deliberating are not permitted. A violation of this rule leads to immediate punishment.

Further discussion about boot camp punishments and my recommendations will come in the next section, however, every couple who uses Domestic Discipline has its own idea of corner time and how it should be done that works for them. It's critical to list EXACTLY what the husband expects when corner time is administered as part of these boot camp rules. It may be that the husband leads his wife to the corner gently by the arm, or it may be that the wife walks to the corner on her own. This may entail placing her forehead against the wall for the duration of corner time. It may mean she must have her hands on her head during the entire corner time, it may not. To have a successful corner time punishment, the husband needs to be unambiguous about what exactly he expects of his wife. Defiance from the wife should be immediately punished if it does not meet the expectations of her husband.

In the same way that couples have expectations of how corner time should be handled in their marriage, so do they have expectations of how bedroom time should work in their relationship. The husband should be clear about his expectations of the wife when it comes to conducting bedroom time. If the husband expects his wife to go directly to the bedroom on her own. He can walk with her to the bedroom with his arm around her if he wants to. Before you begin boot camp, it is imperative that the husband is clear about what he expects of his wife when it comes to bedroom time. If there is any waiver or defiance from these expectations, this should be promptly dealt with.

Like I said in an earlier section, there are four different levels of spanking during boot camp, and I'll go over each one in detail in a future section. The wife's behavior before, during, and after the spanking is of equal importance regardless of how severe the spanking was. Before boot camp begins, the husband should make sure the wife is aware of all of these expectations. Clearly expressing what is expected by the husband will help the wife gain a better understanding of her responsibilities. As you prepare to spank, if the husband expects the wife to go to the bedroom without delay, then she must comply. Upon his request, she needs to assume position immediately. Spanking requires her to hold still and not reach her hand back during the spanking. She must follow those instructions. It's simple, right? Each expectation must be crystal clear, and any breaches of those expectations must be punished immediately.

By now you should understand that everything during boot camp is determined by the husband. I will discuss in more detail later what happens to the wife's privileges the night before boot camp begins, so for her to use her privileges during boot camp, she must first ask her husband for permission. As an example, the wife needs to ask her husband before using the computer, if she would like to use it. Whenever she wishes to watch a certain television program, she must first consult her husband. Before making a phone call, she must ask her husband's permission first. Basically, the point of this rule is to make the wife realize she must respect her husband's authority at home at all times, since her husband has the final say. Additionally, it teaches her that these privileges are actually privileges, rather than rights. In general, her husband provides many of the privileges and he expects her to appreciate them and not take them for granted. Recall that these rules are specific to boot camp, so you might not need to carry them over into your everyday life after boot camp. While these rules should be in place in boot camp, it is up to the husband whether they carry over into the couple's everyday routines. The rule should be immediately punished if it is broken during boot camp, just like any rule that is broken.

As silly as it may sound to call it a mandatory rule, it means that whatever mandatory rules the husband implements as part of his boot camp experience must be followed. This is where a couple can make boot camp "their own." Perhaps the husband would like his wife to clean for an hour each day of boot camp, or perhaps he would like her to prepare lunch and dinner each day of boot camp, or perhaps he would like something else incorporated into the boot camp experience. However, whatever he decides to implement within boot camp needs to be followed strictly. It is crucial that husbands don't take advantage of this situation. It is necessary for the husband to stick to the rules in a loving manner and within reason. In no way should he expect his wife to endure something humiliating, embarrassing, or otherwise belittling while he is in boot camp. In order to build a better, brighter, safer, and happier future, structure needs to be built in the home and marriage. The goal is NOT to satisfy personal agendas or gratifications. Anyone who violates this rule will be punished immediately.

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